


settle down, put your bags down

by risettes



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Internal Monologue, Introspection, Mental Health Issues, POV Second Person, Persona 5 Protagonist & Sakura Futaba Are Siblings, Social Anxiety, futaba is just having A Time okay, just slightly though i don't think it's THAT much, more of a sibling dynamic than real siblings but siblings nonetheless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29222355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risettes/pseuds/risettes
Summary: "Being okay without you around.... Is that really possible?"
Relationships: Kurusu Akira & Sakura Futaba, Persona 5 Protagonist & Sakura Futaba
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	settle down, put your bags down

**Author's Note:**

> title from chosen family by rina sawayama!

Maybe you had been _way_ overconfident when telling Akira that you were all better. No more social anxiety that keeps me inside every day, no way! you had said. I’m gonna go to real school and be outside and not get scared! you had claimed. 

Well, it’s now August, you haven’t left the house in two months nor left your bedroom for more than 4 hours per day, max. You don’t even really know how you got here, but there was probably a steady decline… somewhere in the past few months.

Going from an _I just have so much work, I’ll go to Akihabara next Sunday!_ to _I’m not feeling up to it, I’ll just order it online_ to the excuses every single day until you looked at yourself in the mirror today and-

Yikes. When was the last time you washed your hair? The dyed locks looked more rust-colored than orange, and there’s something that comes off onto your hand when rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You lean into the mirror, barely holding back a grimace at your complexion. You haven’t been this deathly pale in _months,_ not since… well.

Not since before Akira came into your life. _Fuck._

Well, that’s not something to linger on today, cause _fuck that noise._

So if the problem is not leaving the house… you should go on a side quest! Yes, that should do it! Let’s see… you actually never ended up ordering that wireless charging pad like you meant to do in July, so maybe it’s finally time to venture out to Akihabara? Right, mission start!

You hastily shrug on your trusty army jacket (plus 10 defense!) and stomp noisily to get your feet into your too-small boots. The floor is creaking only a bit, but the noise hurts your ears so much you debate whether or not to just give up right now and go back to bed. No one knows you’re planning on going out today so they wouldn’t be disappointed… but no! No, we’re doing this! Sojiro will be proud of you, and you’ll finally get outside of the house! The boots squeeze your toes, and you idly wonder if this is a bad idea as you hesitantly open the door and step outside of your room.

(Maybe if the side quest doesn’t take too long, you can finally buy a bigger pair. But that might be a _full-blown quest,_ ‘cause this is the only shoe you like because all the other shoes feel itchy and icky and these ones feel _really really nice_ and you can’t quite describe it other than a good feel, and what if the first store you go to doesn’t have this exact pair? Then it means you go to _two stores,_ and that’s asking a lot for just one day! …You’ll get new shoes another day.)

Thankfully, Sojiro is already at Leblanc, so he’s not there to ogle at you being outside of your room. Jeez, you know he means well, but it just kinda makes you want to go back inside just to spite him! But! No matter. It’s time for a side-quest, that’s honestly now being promoted to full-ass quest, cause this is starting to become a whole ordeal.

Getting on the train is fine. It’s a Tuesday afternoon, and there aren’t that many people there. You idly remember Akira’s anecdote about the time they snuck Mona onto the train without paying the pet fee and ended up pretending that Mona was a toy that meowed when they pet his head. Haha… button mashing. Maybe you should try that next time you see Mona! When is that again… oh. Akira and Mona are still in the hick-ass country (what is it, Inaba? Isn’t that the murder town? You know Akira can definitely hold their own, but…) and aren’t coming back for a while. Everyone had thought Akira would come home for summer, but their parents have been awfully hesitant about letting them come back as of late. 

(You know why. Akira’s parents think you all are the reason they’re a they now. Which is bullshit, because Akira literally could never be influenced by anyone, ever, but you suppose their parents don’t know that. Great parents! Not. You’ll never understand how they sired the greatest, kindest person on the face of the Earth.)

Oh, that’s your stop! You scramble to get out of the train car in time and let out a large, exaggerated sigh as you finish running up the stairs to the station. Hell yeah, train section complete! Now all that’s left is to… oh God. People.

This mission was decided on so quickly that you entirely forgot why you had been _avoiding this to begin with._ Well… it can’t be helped, you suppose.

* * *

There are _so_ many people. You weave in and out of the crowds, trying your very hardest to not brush up against anyone, because although you’re already outside in Akihabara if you touch someone you think you might pass out, and you both don’t feel like passing out nor failing the entire mission. You dodge and weave, dodge and weave, dodge and- there! Your tech shop! Jeez, maybe you really should get new shoes. These bitches _hurted._

You cautiously swing the door open (this might be your favorite store, but drawing attention to yourself is what you really _don’t want_ right now), but the bell above the door rings anyway. Shit.

Luckily, the person at the counter doesn’t seem too concerned with greeting you, maybe because a tech shop like this has mainly socially anxious NEETs coming through. Well, it works for you! You meander over to the aisles, humming and twiddling your fingers behind your back as you scan the shelves, looking for that familiar packaging. You may be yanking on your fingers a bit too hard, as the crack of your wrist is loud enough to make another customer turn your way. 

… Crap. It’s not here. It’s not here?

It’s not there.

Fuck.

You, trying in vain to keep your panicked frenzy under wraps, rush to the other aisle that might have it but- no. None. They don’t have it. What the fuck? What do they _mean_ they don’t have it?

You surreptitiously eye the cashier, wondering if you should summon the courage to ask him if they had any in the backroom. You feel the confidence burgeoning inside you then-

You stop. You deflate. You definitely can’t do that. God, how did you manage to get yourself to Akihabara by yourself? Why did you think this was a good idea, to try doing this alone?

Really, it’s obvious that you can’t do anything without Akira. Fuck, you can’t even buy a stupid _charger_ without them. You’re so fucking stupid. Why would you think you could do anything without them by your side? Shit, and now you’re gonna cry. You’re such a fucking kid.

You don’t even bother wiping your tears, opting to sprint out of the store and head towards the train station. Your brain is screaming at you, your tears are flying off your cheeks, and god _damn it there are too many people._

You somehow manage to lock yourself in the station’s bathroom stall and put your head between your knees.

...You cry.

You cry, and cry, and cry a little bit (a lot) more. It’s a bit hiccupy, a bit louder than you necessarily need it to be. But you cry nonetheless.

Then, you wipe your tears. Get up, slap your face with some tap water, and board the next train, blankly tapping at your phone to avoid seeing the people around you. Get off the train. Leave the station. Walk back home. Your eyes are still burning, and you wonder if you somehow still have more tears left to cry.

You see Leblanc. It’s still open. Good. Sojiro won’t know anything. You continue on your way home.

You open the door. You blindly grab an energy drink from the fridge and clamber over to your room.

You take off your stompy boots. Your socks. You put on your comfiest good-feel shirt and a pair of shorts. Slumping down into your desk chair, you crack open the can and take a long gulp from it. Your phone buzzes.

It’s Akira. They sent a little wholesome meme of a fat cat saying “I love you! You’re doing great! You can do it!”

It’s so incredibly stupid. It’s _so_ incredibly Akira. You smile a bit, sending a love react to their picture. You put down your phone and heave out a sigh, taking another swig of your drink. This is going to be a long night.

Well, it’s not like you failed the mission. There wasn’t actually a time limit, so…

You pick up your phone, pull up Akira’s contact, and click the call button. It rings twice, and then they pick up.

“Hey, Futaba, what’s up?”

You’ll try again tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter for more screaming [ @balloonra](https://twitter.com/balloonra)


End file.
